Mar 19, 2003 Looking at The Lesbian Sex Book with Rachel Kramer Bussel by Debra Hyde 03/06/03 It seems incongruous to discover that the first entry in The Lesbian Sex Book is "afterplay." Afterplay comes when all else is exhausted, when lovers have played out their erotic repertoire. Yet there it was, leading off the entries in this slim encyclopedia of Sapphic knowledge. Random reads of other entries revealed an introductory guide that rejects a "one size fits all" approach to sex and living and instead asserts that the range of possibility makes lesbian sex all encompassing. Take the kiss. It comes in "so many sizes and shapes that they should almost have individual names. Compare the soft, dry nibble to the open-mouthed, tongues-entwined, practically-falling-into-each-other's face gobble. They inspire different sensations and they carry different messages. But these types of kisses and the dozens in between are all glorious forms of mouth-to-mouth communication." Just as no two kisses are alike, no two lovers react the same the way to any one practice or approach. Sex, it would seem, is like a snowflake. Or maybe several, melting into one another and forming a new shape of shared awareness. When The Lesbian Sex Book first appeared a decade ago, less resources existed for newly out women. The Internet information explosion had yet to happen, and GLBT organizations were only just beginning to reach beyond the city limits of major metropolitan areas. (Heck, in 1993 I didn't even have a bookstore local enough to even find GLBT books.) Back then, Wendy Caster, editor of the original 1993 edition, envisioned a book that would serve as a launching point for newly out lesbians and curious women not yet ready to self-label. Caster placed the same importance on the curious middle-aged woman, perhaps conservative and married who finally wanted to taste a long-denied need, as the baby dyke certain of her identity as she stepped into her adult sexuality. The result was a compendium of factual entries, all infused with a gentle tone of comfort and encouragement. Now, it's a whole new world out there. A mouseclick connects people to information and each other. The lesbian sex wars against porn and S/M have faded significantly. Community is everywhere and it's become more inclusive. "There's been a lot of changes and acceptance for transgendered people, bisexuals, a resurgence of butch/femme, a flourishing of both dyke-made pornography and dykes watching porn," according to the 2003 edition editor, Rachel Kramer Bussel. "There's been a steady audience for the book in the ten years since it was first published, and Alyson wanted to update it for a new century and to catch up with developments in the dyke community." Updated entries reflect the changing times. New entries like BDSM, body modification, fisting, and packing reside along side older entries like basic female anatomy, orgasm, "the first time," and romance. Sex practices and gender politics extend to anal sex, polyamory, and trans identities. The book tackles emotional and lifestyle issues as well through topics like rebound relationships, children and family, ex-lovers, loneliness, and cultural differences (To name a few.) Adding her own imprint to the new edition, Kramer Bussel included two of her personal favorites, phone sex and spanking, in the book. I was pleased to find entries on aging and menopause, issues important to me as I begin to experience life-altering changes and that's the beauty of The Lesbian Sex Book: it covers the life cycle of adult existence, exactly what Rachel Kramer Bussel worked toward. "I want the book to be for women of all different ages and that was the most challenging thing, to be as inclusive as possible," she says. "I'm sure some of the new language might alienate some people, but I also hope it will be welcoming to people who might not have felt welcomed by the first edition." That might well be true, given the visibility of MtF transsexuals and the identity-is-a-many-splendored-thing spirit that I see among today's young queers. But can one book be all things to all people? Of course not. I didn't find, for example, any information on intersex conditions and peri-menopause. And, truth be told, I'm still clueless about how to approach the stone butch type. Some of those missing items might, I suppose, show up in a future edition, but I hope the book never loses its singular strength of welcoming women to same-sex pleasure. "It's still necessary and vital," explains Kramer Bussel, "and I think it's retained its tone of being accessible enough for everyone to read while also not skimping on newer topics and other topics that might be a bit more 'advanced.'" Absolutely. You may know you're queer or you're bi-curious or you male-identify and love women, but that doesn't mean you know how to negotiate the sexual terrain that lies before you. As a ready resource, The Lesbian Sex Book is ideal for starting out, for validation, and for experiencing whatever variety of sex, identity, and lifestyle one might want or require. Come to think of it, as I come full circle in describing the book that afterplay entry now feels downright warm and fuzzy. Complete, even. What a satisfying conclusion to come to. The Lesbian Sex Book, 2nd edition. Rachel Kramer Bussel. 200 pages, Softcover. ISBN:1-55583-744-1. $21.95. Available from bookstore and at Alyson Books. This article previously appeared at the now-defunct Yes Portal website as part of its news and entertainment coverage.