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For Immediate Release The Surrender An Erotic Memoir By Toni Bentley To read an excerpt and see the cover, visit http://www.harpercollins.com/catalog/excerpt_xml.asp?isbn=0060732466 “This is no feminist treatise about equality. This is the truth about the beauty of submission. The power in submission. To me, you see, I have happened upon the great cosmic joke, God’s supreme irony. Enter the exit. Paradise waits.” Enter The Surrender: An Erotic Memoir (ReganBooks, October 2002, ISBN 0060732466), Toni Bentley’s graphic, honest story of breaking physical taboos and finding spiritual transcendence. Alternately profane and profound, The Surrender is poised to forever change the discourse on female sexuality. The Surrender is a story about sex that begins with God, the first of many dichotomies. Bentley grew up in the Bible belt, raised by a father who told her that God does not exist. She longed to believe, but could not. At the age of four she began the ballet classes that would spawn a decade-long career in one of the world’s best dance companies. As a dancer, she learned to transcend pain: bloody toes, strained tendons, starvation – and the loneliness of her atheism. A hip injury ended her dance career, a time period also marked by an unfulfilling marriage. When she left her marriage, Bentley was disillusioned and resentful, a self-proclaimed “celibate nymphomaniac.” Her first post-marital relationship began as an impulsive, illicit romp with her masseur. Their ensuing affair was comprised solely of oral sex. For Bentley, her experience with the masseur was profound, taking her from unhappiness to a sense of omnipotent pleasure. They existed only within the walls of her bedroom. Real life – family, schedules, money – were kept out. It was with the Masseur that she felt the first impulse to write about her sexual escapades. Soon, Bentley began vacillating between conventional relationships and wild sexual affairs. There was the Young Man at the gym who led to her first threesome. There was the Man of God, a born-again Christian and former sex addict. Finally, there was one more attempt at a traditional relationship with the Boyfriend, leaving her wishing she was simply a mistress. In a final attempt to make things right, she established her own version of The Rules: see each other no more than once a week, a strict “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, and complete avoidance of real life. Ultimately, the relationship ended, clearing the way for the Young Man to re-enter her life in a way she never anticipated. The Surrender begins to peak when, after two years away, the Young Man returns. It was a critical juncture in Bentley’s sexual and emotional self-awareness. Having questioned and rejected everything from homosexuality to monogamy and marriage, she was open to his gentle but dominating sexuality. During their reunion, he introduced her to anal sex. “Changed forever” is how she describes herself after sodomy, an experience that led her past pain and fear into bliss. Her physical release translated into an emotional one, and at last, she stopped mourning her marriage. Possessed by the Young Man (who she renames A-Man), she was at the same time set free. Their non-monogamist relationship pulled her into a dizzying spell of lust, love, and the ultimate surrender. With him, to her delight, she became a “back-door woman.” Her new sexual terrain became the salve for all emotional loss. Bentley, consumed by her new passion, dabbled in sexual anthropology and found research citing that more than twenty-five percent of men and woman will try sodomy in their lifetime. Moreover, people with higher levels of education were more likely to engage in anal sex. Still, she acknowledges that while acceptance might be growing in the bedroom, it remains strictly taboo in the public arena. (Until only last year, sodomy remained illegal in many states, and remains the one sexual act rarely mentioned on even the most frank daytime talk shows. Recently, a discussion of “anal” by radio talk show host Howard Stern prompted the Federal Communications Commission to slap his broadcast company with a nearly half-million dollar fine.) Ultimately, Bentley’s intense dynamic with her lover created a new kind of psychic ache. Three years and 298 encounters later, she was compelled to say goodbye to A-Man. The decision to leave was an agonizing leap of faith. But, free of her obsession, she found herself able to exist in a new reality – life on her own terms. While she would continue to wander a path of unbridled sexuality, she did so inhabited by only herself, not any one man. The Surrender tracks a complex and still unfinished journey, one on which Bentley continues towards greater self-understanding and love. Beyond Bentley’s personal epiphanies, The Surrender is a one-of-a kind guide to uninhibited sexuality. It tackles everything from the importance of a robust fantasy life, to opinions on the ultimate erotic underwear, the logistics of sexual experimentation, advice on pubic grooming, and graphic tips for performing fellatio. Astonishing in its revelations, unforgettable in its subject matter, and exquisitely written with wit and candor, The Surrender marks a defining moment in female erotic literature. A memoir, confessional, and provocation all in one, The Surrender will shock readers into redefining their notions of sexuality. About the author: Toni Bentley danced with George Balanchine’s New York City Ballet for ten years. She is the author of Winter Season: A Dancer’s Journal, coauthor with Suzanne Farrell of Farrell’s autobiography, Holding On to the Air, Costumes by Karinska and Sisters of Salome – all New York Times Notable Books. She has written articles for numerous publications including the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Allure, Smithsonian, and Rolling Stone. www.tonibentley.com Please email ReganMarketing@harpercollins.com for more information. THE SURRENDER By Toni Bentley ReganBooks On-sale: October 12, 2004 0060732466 $24.95 224 pages |
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